Suja is the entirety of my vegetable intake

Praises be to Motoя, patron god of profligate energy use, my local Costco is once again stocking this highly refined vegetable sunlight. I love how Suja is refined America: dense, oil-intensive, targeted at the niche health nut Americans(tm) like me, not tasty at all and sold in bulk at  my favorite American icon of the feedstock of life.

I can now drink two or three salads a day again! Phytonutrients are important and I otherwise live on prosciutto and mozzarella slabs (again, from Costco). I’ll save the rest of my Costco odes for another day, but in the meantime, drink a salad!

Suja in particular is an awesome veggie drink in that it has none of those non-caloric sweeteners. I object to Stevia and the other variously weird invert sugars on the basis that they rewire the reward pathways that drive biological sugar-intake bookkeeping. Think about it: if you halve, over the course of the day, the number of calories that you ingest from sugar while maintaining your body’s perception of the sugar-calorie intake, by (for example) switching to diet soda, your homeostatic intake expectation will remain constant, and you’ll actually crave more sugar.

Just say no to synthetic sweeteners and flavors. Instead, chug Suja and Spindrift (Spinnies, as I overheard from some bros at Costco one time: “Should we get Spinnies?” “You can never have too many Spinnies…”).


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